Art & Fear
I have a confession to make.
I have a hard time finishing my artwork.
Maybe it’s the constant influx of creative ideas (seriously, I can’t keep up!). Perhaps it’s based in fear and doubt of whether I will be good enough as an artist. Or maybe I’m worried that the finished piece won’t be worthy. There’s truth in each of these statements, and these last few transformative months have also made it even more challenging to stay focused. Life has been surprisingly exciting, and I’ve had to find a new balance for reflection and my studio time.
With all the major shapes in place, I’ve spent the last several weeks working in layers and painting in the finer details of my “Seven Dwarfs” concept painting.
If you’ve been keeping up, I’ve been learning to step back and not compare my own creative journey with others – especially with the competitive pressures of social media. I’ve put aside other ideas so that I could fully give my attention to what is currently on my easel, which just-so-happens to be the “Seven Dwarfs” concept painting (yes, I am still working on that at the time I write this blog). Rather than bounce from painting to painting and leave a trail of unfinished works in my wake, I’ve decided to change my tune, focus on one painting at a time, and find my own algorithm—even though it may not be the social norm. By allowing myself this space, I am experiencing the unfolding of my creative journey in my own time. It’s been three months since I started the “Seven Dwarfs” piece, and I am finally nearing the end. Would I consider this concept painting to be a great masterpiece? No, and I’ve even gotten negative criticism for creating it in the first place because it steps away from my personal style. But what this composition did teach me is how to silence the inner voice, and sometimes outer critics, that say you cannot paint.
As in life, an ending always means a new beginning is on the horizon. In the mind of an artist, that means the big question arises: what am I going to do next? To answer that, I must think back to why I started this concept painting in the first place. It was a spinoff idea from my painting entitled, Snow White, of my Fairy Tale Still Lifes series. After having researched and explored the origins of the famous tale, I wanted to compare these findings with the Disney version that we all know and love to further comprehend the evolution of fairy tales and their cultural significance at the times in which they were created. What I have discovered is that these stories have always evolved to adapt and remain relevant to the times. Even in my own explorations, I have repeated history by creating new perspectives on these familiar tales.
Circling back, the question concerning the direction of my next work remains. Do I continue to visually reinvent these stories, drawing back to their original roots through symbolism and playful compositions? Or is my deep interest in fairy tales and lore actually the foundation for something much greater? It has been suggested before that I leave what has already been done behind, and to begin creating a new world of my own. To do that requires great courage and trust in one’s artistic intuition. I have gone from confessing my bad habit of abandoning my works, to now admitting that I often do not know where to start. For one, I believe silencing my inner critic would be helpful in solving this creative obstacle, and to do that, I must simply paint.
“If you hear a voice within you say, “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.”