Ode to Paris
Paris is an ecosystem. Its magnetism draws in the dreamers, the doers, and the creative minds, who are often caught unaware of the impending catalytic shift about to take hold in their lives. The lost will be found. For as the law states, nothing is lost, nothing is created, everything is transformed (The Law of Conservation of Mass, 1789; Antoine Laurent-Lavoisier). I, too, found myself drawn to Paris by a turn of unexpected events. Since then, I’ve come to see that nothing will ever be the same. Once Paris takes you in, your life will naturally be changed. As Ernest Hemingway wrote, wherever you may go in life, PARIS STAYS WITH YOU.
It's been two weeks since I’ve been back after a life-altering month in France, and what I thought would be easy with my new-found French attitude and perspective, proved to be much more challenging than I thought. I was not entirely prepared for this emotional rollercoaster and deep feeling of homesickness. Thankfully, the multitude of creative ideas that I gathered during my travels keeps me company and prevents me from being in a state of total isolation and despair. Flashes of memory and the sketches and writings that I collected along the way serve as inspiration for a whole new line of creative work, which is currently underway! Re-living these precious moments from my trip have given me great comfort while I deal with the stark contrast of life back in the States. If this experience has taught me anything, it is that ART IS LIFE, and so must my life become art.
A view inside my brain; I love sketching out my ideas using two different coloured pencils. This drawing technique is something I picked up while studying Disney animators. Traditionally, the blue pencil is used for forming ideas and making edits because it will not show up on the final image. The red pencil is used to make the final decisions of a drawing and to differentiate separate elements. Another feature I love is that coloured pencils won’t smudge like graphite does, leaving my sketchbook pages and the back of my hand much cleaner! (above image: initial sketches for a new series of work, inspired by my trip to France)
I realize that must sound funny to you. You must be thinking, “Heather, you’re an artist, so isn’t art already central in your life?” THE TRUTH IS: not as much as it should be. I have been really struggling with my artistic identity and creative direction for years—always painting what I think people want to see, what I think would sell, what others have told me to paint, and even believing that I could not make a living from my talent. Thus, my work has rarely been a direct extension of my own deep, intuitive practice. I believe that is because exploring one’s emotional landscape and visually translating that onto canvas (not to mention putting those inner workings on public display) requires a big push and great deal of courage that I haven’t had the strength yet to muster. Until now.
Inspired by Venus de Milo (Louvre Museum, Paris); Some ideas never leave the sketchbook, but I hope this one does!
The centrifugal energy that is Paris still manipulates my life at present, even though I am currently 3,476 miles away. By this invisible force, things have taken a sudden turn, and what false sense of security I fought to build has quickly been upended in one brief afternoon meeting, leaving me back at the drawing board—quite literally. Thrice in under two years, I find myself soon-to-be stripped of reliable financial means, and once again, it is made glaringly obvious that my art is and will be the only important choice of my life’s pursuit. Despite everything, art continues to be my one constant amongst a sea of disappointment and uncertainty. Though, for this third time, I am not entirely directionless and alone. I HAVE PARIS.
In the face of such adversity, the Parisien mindset I absorbed in the City of Lights provides me with the sense of bravery I’ve needed to finally start shaping my artistic dreams into a reality. What once appeared as a blockade is now an opportunity in the right direction. Also, the transformations Paris has brought me have me ultimately convinced that, when the time is right, life will eliminate whatever is distracting, unnecessary, and prohibiting you from moving forward and ALIGNING WITH YOUR TRUE PURPOSE. With a rekindled determination burning within me, I can no longer ignore these signs of what I am called to do. There is no denying this urge to create now that it has been reawakened. The challenges that have presented themselves since my return to the States are even more reason to surge ahead in my studio, with Paris on my mind and in my heart. Though life is uncertain, I know Paris will never leave me. Like my art, it will always be there to draw me back in.
Now with paintbrush in hand and my journey fresh in my mind, I stand before a reflection of myself, teetering on the edge of a cliff and still in the throes of sketching out my new compositional ideas. The future of my artwork begins to take shape, and I can see the approach of something exciting. I’ve never truly been lost; I have always known what I needed to pursue. I was just lacking one final, transformative ingredient: Paris. All that is left to do is to simply act, allow myself full creative license, and trust that my wings are ready to fly. The voice in my head (perhaps now with a bit of a French accent) has never been clearer, “JUMP!”
“Life will find a way.”